Before We Begin#
I am writing this on a flight to Xi’an, just as another semester is about to begin.
There have been many frustrating things lately. Looking back over the entire break, I still find it difficult to recover a steady rhythm for studying. A new semester may bring new elements and fresh stimulation, but I hope I can remain focused, both in study and in life.
A New Blog#
My previous blog had not been updated for a long time. Apart from the cost of the server, a major reason was that I had never figured out what purpose a blog needed in order to exist.
We want what we write to be seen. Perhaps we are looking for recognition and satisfaction, or perhaps we simply want to show what we have done. In that sense, blogging can become little different from posting a video on a social platform, except that we have found a quieter and less conspicuous corner of the internet.
A blog should be a window for output.
We already receive enough input and spend enough time processing it. We need windows through which we can produce something of our own.
People often say that the most likely audience for your blog is yourself. That may not be a bad thing. When you look back at how you felt and the choices you made, none of it can be changed. Sometimes you cannot help noticing how naive you once were. Still, we need this kind of reflection and record to give substance to our memories.
Stay Focused#
Focus is an essential ability, and one I often lack. Perhaps the only times I have sustained it for long periods were while preparing for exams. I hope writing a blog can help me preserve some of that focus in daily life.
We crave stimulation. Things that feel new and explosive can bring immediate pleasure, but they also consume a great deal of energy. More importantly, they often fail to become meaningful parts of memory. These scattered fragments are difficult to recall. Over time, they can weaken our ability to notice and hold on to life because they constantly direct our attention elsewhere.
I often interrupt myself while working. I think it happens because too many thoughts unrelated to the current topic appear at once. These quick, shallow impulses pull me into the next unimportant question before I have finished the first.
Continuity matters. I need that continuity to develop ideas that mean something.
Stay Alive#
We carry many stereotypes. We may imagine that people who write blogs are all programmers, or that doing academic research automatically makes someone excellent.
In reality, we need to strip some of these ideas of their mystique. We should not build walls around ourselves because of the identities that others project onto us, then live inside a Truman Show of our own making.
We need a basic love of life and a sense of anticipation. We need to live as whole human beings.
Sometimes we do not need to care so much about other people’s judgments. We need to experience the world for ourselves and recover the tangible feeling of being alive.
I have watched many interview programs recently, hoping to shape a healthier attitude toward life from them.
Looking back, many things did not need to be achieved in such a hurry. Our earliest ideas about the world are often driven by desire, and overcoming desire is difficult. Sometimes we take a step forward and constrain our behavior according to concepts that others consider mature, even when the result may not be good.
The process still matters. We need it in order to form attitudes of our own.